i said i won't wake with puffy eyes... i said i'll get over and let go of this matter... why is it that i can't do it? i couldnt live up to what i said i would... sry...

i keep thinking about it... every minute.. every second when im awake... why is it hurting me so? it's really not fair... probably... im the ONLY one affected.. which is also better... but i so wish im seen... the longer i am not seen... it just proves to me hw much im nt cared for...

yup... the old bev's back.... i hate the old bev.. honestly, i do! cos she's the unhappy one.. always filled with loads of bitterness, hatred and pessimism... but it's apparent... what happens, or what doesnt, still is so... nobody can do anything about it... i just so wish i had someone there to share with or someone who sees me... but sadly... guess i either hv to wait longer... or nv will i get one... haha...

the old bev is... invincible... is a nobody... and guess, the new bev is out of sight now... =) the new bev, is supposedly braver, more optimistic, and has someone there to care and look over her... i wanna look for the new bev back... but she knows that it's not really possible to appear now... maybe im neither the new or old bev... maybe... im just nothing now... who knows? =) but... who's gotta live with it? yup! me ...

Labels: a sad nothing