ok... this incident was encountered by me, karen and jiarui on our way to the yck mrt station...

ever seen a MINI MINI scooter (it's nt even a motorbike i think)... it is SUPER noisy and contributes to air pollution... alot.. haha.... omg.. this thing that happened was totally hilarious.. (too bad my reaction not fast enough to take a pic or smt)...

anyway... this... 'vehicle' which is no bigger than a trainee bicycle, was driving past... & karen goes 'wah... so small but yet SO loud'... than i didnt get what she was talking about... cos i HEARD a NOISY bike drive thru the mrt pick up point... but i didnt realise it was so... MINI.... the worst was... the driver was testing the bike out .. probably he realised it was a bit too noisy also.. and how he tested it was lifting the front up... like a child's bike.. -.- than... HERE'S THE BEST PART.... he asked his GIRLFRIEND to board... -.- OMG!!!

ok... the first thing is... it's even a miracle a grown man can use that on the road... and nw he's picking his gf up on that small 'thing'?! haha... -.- ok... me and karen were like.. 'where's SHE gonna sit???!!!' haha... and the thought of 2 ppl sharing that... small... 'thing' ... supposedly being romantic... erm... ok.. if i were the gf... i wld seriously humiliate that guy man.. i mean.. daring to drive such a thing... PLUS giving someone a ride on it... whoa.. it's just... -.-

anyway... guess that's what happens when... we are on a budget to buy transportation?? -.- hm...

in life... we all have thoughts that bring us all the way down... but afterall, why go care so much? cos in the end, we are what we make out of it! =)

times that pull us down...
times that u think u feel like nothing worse could happen...
times when u just wanna give up...

it's times like these that we shld just think again... no one out there can control what we think or how we feel better than ourselves... so an encouragement to ourselves, and a simple praise... who knows?! we might be stronger than we think! =)

this is what bev resorts to when she's bored... a bit funky in the mind... and.. just really nth better to do!!!

feelings are something experienced by an individual.
the outcome of an individual's feelings affects others.
affecting others will result in whole lot of unnecessary worries

i wont let ppl worry about me...
i wont let my feelings affect others...
no more... =)

some time to think of over some stuff...taught me, i have to handle some things on my own.. it's not a matter of wanting ppl to care or not but it's just a have-to to settle my own stuff.. =) so... from now on.. bev's just gonna do things LESS selfishly.. haha...

just...
use ur eyes to see
use ur ears to listen
use ur heart... to feel

it's actually not difficult to realise something... and all u have to do.. is stop... and take a clear look, listen carefully and u can feel...

some times... deceiving urself and others around u... is the only way u can make everything better. i've not been truthful lately.. to myself or others... and i only seek things to continue this way...

i know soon... after a while... i'll be alright... and i JUST knw... no more will i wake up with swollen eyes... and heavy eyelids... i won't walk about aimlessly... i wont be zombie bev no more...

but i pray... just give me this time... to settle. cos i wanna be better... for those who care for me... dun ask me what's wrong.. nor ask me how to make me feel better cos that's nt what i need... i just want things to continue on as normal...

if i want to say what happen, i will take the initiative, and i assure all... it's nothing much.. just a short phase i wanna get over... so im putting this post up here, to make sure... i dun get what i dun want...

cos some times... self-deception.... saves.

baby king kong.... ready to slp... (that's my bro beside him) sad... kingkong doesnt get a bed of his own.. still must share with my bro... -.-

i realized... it's those ppl who actually protect most who need the most protection. i have no idea where this logic came from but this statement is from what i observe... a world is full of contrast... not all of them beneficial... not all bad... and these contrasts.. tend to get ironic and contradicting too...

in human nature... we learn... we grow... we get defensive... and there's a reason for this wall of defence...

same logic as "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach." i guess...
those who dun get protection, protect more.
and those who don't get love, give out more love...

Labels: "本人的推论"

think sometimes, as people, we doubt in ourselves too much... but why is it so? is it that we really all have a limit that we cannot surpass? doubts don't just happen... i believe that we hv doubts, fears and worries for a reason... probably cos we tend to look down on ourselves a bit too much? or that we feel we've reached our limits?

so... why not believe in ourselves more?

with just a little bit more courage
with just a little bit more strength
with just a little bit more encouragement
with just a little bit more... faith

也许是以前的我 是个错误；不懂得珍惜，不懂得牺牲，不懂……你

或是现在的我 是个谜；不懂得整理，不懂得打算，不懂……自己

而以后的我 是个模糊；不懂得爱惜，不懂得未来，不懂……他

我发现，最大的错误，并不是我所认为的。而最大，最大的错误，是自己犯的。到现在才去回想，为何？哼！也未免太迟一点了吧陈薇伊

第1个后悔--是对不起
第2个后悔--是种痛
第3个后悔--是个无法复原的伤口

而我的伤，从这，只会越来越深。
无论是洒盐，再伤；我……能承受吗？

Labels: "本人的推论"

sometimes... i just like the feeling.. of seeing ur friend for the 1st time of the day... how u greet, how u smile... how we just all just come together and and say 'hi'... it's smt so simple... and nothing much needs to be done... but it gives me a happy and warm feeling.. like i know where i belong...

why is it this feeling cannot remain... the elation of just a smile.. or even a greet... doesnt even take a hug... i want it to last longer...but i only see this much of ppl the FIRST time a day... hm... guess it's just life.. u only get 'first's once... even if it's once a day.. but... it wont repeat... =) and that's just the way we hv to accept it... but it's ok... u think of it... and get on with it... and try not to think about it again... that's the way it shld be... isnt it? =)

p.s. i love fb.. the ppl in it... changed my life, whether for better or worse.. =) i love it!

Labels: dance; changed my life

是喜欢？还是太习惯？

也许是任何人无法讲解或帮我解围的……
in a state of confusion

pls dun let me become too used to it... cos im afraid.. one day, when i have to let it all go... i won't bare to.. and will get too hurt to as well... i didnt realise this ... but actually, im a really cowardly person... i get scared once too often... no matter how strong a front i try to put up.. i hv no idea why i tend to get so scared so easily...

im afraid i'll lose it one day...
im afraid of failure...
im afraid to be called weak...
im afraid of the truth...
im afraid of loneliness...

so let me be braver... give me more courage in what i do... i wanna be brave and strong enough to take care of myself from now on.. so i wont get too hurt... or get too accustomed and take for granted for what i have... pls...

Labels: beyond bev's control

Thank God for blessing me with my voice...
Thank God for blessing me with the ability to dance...
Thank God... till today... i live. =)

i really dunno what i would actually love to do if i can't dance or sing... haha... =) i really am not boasting about having a GREAT voice... or DOPE dancing... COS I DO NOT! haha.. i don't take credit for what i dun have.. but these 2 are really just things i LOVE... and means so much to me.. no one or no other thing can take away...

so... im glad.. of what was given to me... that will not be taken away from me unless by choice. =)

learning to love others, is not a task at all... but to learn how to love yourself, is the greatest challenge of all...

Labels: just... contented

trust... something i took advantage of... something i took for granted...

i know it's too late to apologize... pls forgive me... for misusing, for going overboard for what i was given...

i won't do so. no more.

i wanna gain back that trust. am i... too late?