denying... explaining... persuading... all's been done before and always been repeated... i just wished one excuse can be used for life and i always believe it... but... dun think it can ever be that way...
i wanna believe some things are true... but the thing is... how can i? i try to convince myself... yet actions are done to prove what i wanna believe is false... and i've always thought..... ah... nvm... no point now.... but i observe, i see.... and i knw... and i realized how f-ing stupid i was... to even bring myself to that mindset....
i keep doing stuff to occupy myself in the day... and smtimes.. i feel i really manage to forget it... but yet.. it's so haunting... so now.. i've made up my mind... this is it... it has to stop... it wont END...but it'll stop here... =)
give me strength and the courage... this time round... it'll take more...