sometimes... some things can get out of your control totally. all that is in ur control, is thinking about possibilities. 'what if'...'maybe'...'how i wished'... all these become part of your daily life. i guessed i've often felt this way... just that it has always been sub-concious, buried inside. out of sight, out of mind. maybe that's why some times i feel the way i feel... but not know why either...

i'm not asking for anything... cos i know this, can't be gained just by asking. nor can it be gained even if i tried. so i'm not expecting anything out of it... i just learn, understand, and accept.

i never enjoyed being hurt... but i learnt how to accept it.
i never enjoyed blame... but i learnt how to take it.
i never enjoyed pain... but i learnt how to heal from it.
i never enjoyed friends being down... but i learnt how to counter it.
i never enjoyed loneliness... but i learnt how to live it.
i never enjoyed....... much........ but i learnt how to make the best out of it.
=)

guess now since things have passed... have become 'had been's...... that's the way things are gonna be... i know it. i always had. but why i keep feeling so... is probably nature... =) i know i'm not good enough to turn things over. and i'll never be the one who these things happen to. so, use the disadvantage to my advantage. give what i cannot get. and give MORE of what i won't get.

no matter what...i'll still smile... but the cries are inside...

Labels: just a moment...all will be better