i have no idea why... suddenly everything runs thru my mind... over and over again... worries, problems, doubts. it feels that whatever i fear, will just haunt me... no matter how i try to clear them away... there's a sudden chill in the back... a fear that i'll nv get out of this darkness...

there's a longing to break free of it... i want to be able to solve everything.. i wanna be able to handle everything coming my way. i wanna be able to make everything work out successfully.. but there are some things.. not of anyone's control instead.. it takes more than just what i can do. it takes what WE can do... but.. who r 'WE'? sigh...

i am apologetic to whatever i've said or done wrong.. & i really am just trying to put in my best. but who really sees what i'm trying to do? i dun ask for ANY recognition, but just seek for cooperation.

although it does feel like im putting more weight than im supposed to on my shoulders... it doesnt bother me as long as things work out right. not for myself,definitely... as long as everyone enjoys themselves, enjoy what they're doing, feels that they did a gd job, what else can i say? that's all i hope for.

im not tryin' to be all noble and all.. cos im not.. i am a selfish person.. but there's a reason why im troubled.. that's all i can say...

Labels: just too tired sometimes