no longer do i knw what i've been doing is wrong or right... no longer do i knw if i'm going thru pain or pleasure... sure, it's easy to make it sound that when there's smt undone, u hv to settle it. cos it's only right u hv to pull urself back up and solve ur own probs...

has this all been MY fault? has it been me the one SCREWING things up bad? hv i been the bitch? hv i been the one who's being two-faced? i think all these... the answers are... yes... im nt gg to wallow in self-pity.. that's nt who im gg to be... im just admitting to what , on my part, i've did wrong...

things sometimes that happen nt within ur control.. emotions and feelings wavering when every little detail in ur life takes place.. ppl arnd u... pressure put on by many factors... family, studies, frens...

false hopes... misunderstanding... twist of words... all so powerful. all so scary. all so harmful. i didnt think things will turn out this way... & guess it's partially in my character... making things... from bad.. to worse... hurting ppl...

ok... scold me as much as u want.. im nt worth u being upset over... i mean it... if u're so hurt by me... might as well curse me for what i've done... cos i dunno hw else i can make it up to u before it goes back to what it was... im nt those kind who can handle these situation well.. & usually, i'll be a coward, crawling back.. BEGGING for forgiveness... but bev has grown... she knws where's the limit.. when it has to stop.. when SHE has to stop hurting ppl... so i dun seek forgiveness anymore... i only hope that u'll carry on... call me selfish... thinking for myself & nt for u... cos this is as much as i can do. but inside... if u really knw me ... ... ... u wldn't hv interpreted what i said that way... and u will knw what intentions i hv now... it's alright... to be mad at me... it's alright... if u wanna hate me...