only at this time am i brave enough to cry... i dun really knw why it hurts so much. the thought that i can nv be gd enough. the thought that i will nv be the one that ppl think about. i will nv be the one remembered.

actually, i was close to being thin air... i dun even knw when it started that i was noticed and i wasn't left alone anymore. i regret it. i shld've stayed low. i shld've been un-noticed. so none of this would happen. now... i've brought myself down. all the way.

i shld be stronger. i think that i'm being SO stupid nw to even be so hurt about it. i feel like a bloody idiot. but why is it that the pain doesn't go away? i guess that im hurt, NOT because of 'it'. but it's cos that i feel that im doomed this way. it'll nv go away and it'll ALWAYS be this way. maybe im nt sad. but just hurt. angry. at myself.

i mean, even if things worked out, than what? i mean, i wouldn't want it that way either, isn't it? i'm such a hilarious character. so stupid, and such a joke. i'm such a laughing stock. silly in every single way. and no one will ever knw. cos no one will even bother.

no one bothers; no one cares
that it hurts; so much