i feel like my heart's been put far away. stored in a refridgerator or sth... i, can't really feel it, but yet i knw, it's pain, of coldness. if i bring it out for heating, it'll just get cold again. so why bother? of cos, i dun want it to be this way. but im so tired... of hving to heat it up, keep it warm. make sure it doesnt go cold again. if i hv to do so much, i'd really rather leave it frozen.

lately, i hv no idea what's wrong with me. i'm... abit like hw i was before. i smile. but, im nt happy.. i just dun wanna show the pain. i mean, what for? so i can wallow in self-pity? or gain pity from others? sigh...

i knw, a part of me and my heart is being looked after. im nt refering to that part. i guess... that part of my has been locked up... for too long that i dun even knw me anymore... and everyday... i just go about... pretending nothing happen.. that everything's gonna be ok.... it can be a painful yet blissful thing... pain cos i putting up a front and blissful cos i dun need to wry about this. i dunno what to do anymore....

would anyone bother showing me directions?
take the pain away?
give me back a happy me?
can someone... warm my heart?